FAMILY FEELINGS TOWARDS FAMILY – 1992 By SpiritualDictionary.com
Geoff – What I have seen now is a family with two parents, the love and energy that a mother gives out is different from that to what a father gives out. The mother seems to create a permanent link with the children and the colour is a very soft pink, it is a very permanent colour, which will always link the mother with the children. The father on the other hand has a stronger form of energy based more on protection and strength. That is why more often than not the daughter will be attracted to the father and the son attracted to the mother. The daughter to the father is because she sees protection and strength and safety and security, the son to the mother because he is expected to be strong in the image of his father and finds great comfort in the basic love from the mother.
Miriam (Paul) – Very well put, very well put indeed. I wish more people could understand that on earth.
Geoff – Now the love between the children is what I am looking at next, and that is something which they create between them in the beginning. There seems to be no real bond between children in the beginning, they have to create it themselves, and this depends on how well they get on with their brother or sister.
Miriam (Paul) – And how many families fight and argue, for they all have different lessons to learn and it is only in the case of twins, where there is a higher degree of agreement and harmony between them.
Geoff – I have just been looking at twins, and basically when twins are born their basic levels of energy and love are very equal and very balanced, and therefore the love that they have between them is much more comfortable and accepted more which in turn makes it stronger, and that is why there is always a very good bond between twins.
When a son is born before a daughter, the daughter always looks up to the older brother for the same thing, protection and security, so it is like a second father in a way.
They tend to idolise and look up to their older brothers. And when it is the other way, when the daughter is born first, and the son second, they become more alienated, the love can be there but there is not the closeness.
Miriam (Paul) – You are quite right though, because the younger boy feels that he should be the head of the family of the children and yet he is not.
Geoff – Yes, what I missed was the sister looking after the younger brother and sort of nursing and mothering and maternally looking after this younger brother, because he wants to feel part of the head of the family, he sometimes resents this. That is why they say the best way is to have a son two years older than the daughter.
Miriam (Paul) – Yes
Geoff – Now I have got a grandmother, and the grandmother has a family, husband a wife and two children, and the grandmother is the wife’s mother. As the family progresses and gets older the relationship between the family and the grandmother changes. The wife obviously puts her family first and therefore her mother comes second, and if a mother should not understand this, she can feel left out because she is not getting as much attention as she used to and she feels that because she brought up her daughter, and trained her and loved her and looker after her, she feels slightly put out that she is now giving all her attention to her family, and she can feel resentful, unless she understands the situation, and this can solve a lot of arguments.
This is something that we can put into practice when we see this actually happen, it is just a matter of giving the grandmother love and understanding, to let her understand that the most important thing in her daughter’s life is the husband and family.
Miriam (Paul) – And this is something that Verna will be able to do when she has the people who come and they are upset or feeling neglected, she will be able to help a lot that way.
Geoff – Yes that is right. Now where the grandmother has a son who is married, she will tend to correct the wife, the grandmother has brought up her son, for many, many years and sort of taught him all she knows and the wife comes along and they fall in love and form a new community. The grandmother will feel a little resentful that her son has been taken away and in many cases will advise the wife what is the best thing to do for her son, which can also build up tremendous resentment.
Miriam (Paul) – Oh yes it can.
Geoff – Now if we look at the father and the daughter, the daughter gets married and brings up the family, the father will be very protective of his daughter because that is his role in life, he will feel comfortable as long as he is assured that the person his daughter has married is suitable. He will feel happy for the daughter and will enjoy her company when she visits but will be happy that she is happy in her own right, he will be happy that she is happy in her marriage. Now if we look at a father whose son gets married and brings up a family, he is protective and teaches the son to be protective.
Miriam (Paul) – If I may interrupt what you have described, it is very good but it applies generally into families where there are strong ties, but you must remember there are many families where the parents are only too pleased to have the children off their hands and out of the circle, and they are not worried one little bit, because the ties are not strong enough.
Geoff – Yes that is right, quite right.
Miriam (Paul) – But it is very good what you have done.
