VERNA’S BALANCE AND HARMONY

VERNA’S BALANCE AND HARMONY –    By SpiritualDictionary.com

In this meditation Verna’s Mother’s helper is channeling through Geoff. Verna – I have gone right inside myself and there is a little girl swinging on some swings, backwards and forwards and she is just sitting there swinging, seems to be me when I was a little girl and I am quite vacant really, it is just like, within this little girl, life’s just there and if she gets taken somewhere she goes, and if she doesn’t get taken somewhere she doesn’t go, and she has no thought pattern of her own. I am asking her if there is anything she wants, I was just practicing going inside myself when I got this, and she says “no”. She is a real follower as a little girl, whatever is just is. Now somebody is telling me that I have been given this for a reason, because a very big part of me is a follower, it takes a lot to actually make me fight. It takes a real kick up the butt to make me stop being a follower. And she is just swinging again backwards and forwards and it is like if she gets given an ice cream, she will take it, if not she couldn’t really care less. But this little girl never asked for anything, the little girl in me never asked for anything, and I still don’t. I just expect what is due to me, this little girl that I am seeing is part of the spirit in me. I expect what I deserve from other people, I don’t go out and get it. And I am being shown that this is part of my spiritual self from my reincarnation. Now they are showing me this little girl growing up, sort of a teenager, and she is being restricted. And this causes a lot of pain, because in actual fact this spiritual being is a free spirit, and because this spiritual girl didn’t expect anything from anybody, and didn’t ask for anything, ever, the pain was intense when any trust of her was taken away. Geoff (Channeling) – Was that the right words, taken away from her? Verna – No, I can feel the pain of these dominating voices coming towards her, demanding, authorising, I am trying not to bring my own self into this picture that I am being given. Geoff (Channeling) – Hmm, the people who are disciplining you, are they doing it because they think it is what is best for you? Are they doing it with love? Is it what they expect because of what their parents did for them? Verna – This is what was meant to happen to me so when I reincarnated into this lifetime I was this free spirit, that has to do with my star sign and my character and everything, and these people, my parents presumably, they are my teachers, and they needed to do this to help me learn specific lessons in this lifetime, I chose them after all. Now when I was a child I understood that, so the reprimanding I got when I was tiny didn’t affect me, I was too free, but as I grew up I became maybe critical, or started to feel more emotions. The pain was there but now I know why. Geoff (Channeling) – And why is that? Verna – I look at myself and I am a little bit older and I see that meeting Gray (Verna’s first husband) was not in my past, the spirits of Gary and Sharon (Verna’s children) would have come to me anyway, maybe to us, we will never know that. Geoff (Channeling) – No, Gray was in your past. Verna – He was in my past? Geoff (Channeling) – Yes. Verna – Because I see me taking a big 90% left turn towards revenge, and escape and …….. Geoff (Channeling)– No, it was to learn fast, to learn the hard way, to condense in time what you had to learn so that the rest of your time you could spend doing more spiritual work than learning over a longer period. Go back to when you were on the swing. Verna – While I am going through this, I am getting the most intense pain inside. Hurt, like you know when you are hurt and you ache inside, I must go back to when I am on the swing, I don’t know why I am being shown this tonight. Geoff (Channeling) – Yeah, you were content on the swing, you were not concerned and didn’t go after what other children wanted. You didn’t want ice cream or sweets or whatever, you were content with the love and the people around you. If you had progressed through life and reached the stage where you had to teach and deal with reality, such as John with cancer, it would have been far more painful for you because something that you expect is suddenly not there, you expect people to treat you the right way, you expect people to believe you and that is what your life was, you were content. Verna – I am getting the feeling that my teachers and masters and my guides are almost apologising, in a way, for what I had to go through in life, not apologising, that is the wrong word, in a way they are sad that I had to go through that. Geoff (Channeling) – Sympathising, yes. Verna – But it is over now. Geoff (Channeling) – Yes, and you chose it, don’t forget that. Verna – I either chose it or I forgot my knowledge. Geoff (Channeling) – No you chose it, there is a lot that you have to do which you already know on this earth, and you could have spent years and years getting prepared for what you must do, you have just condensed the lessons into a shorter space of time, so the lessons have become far more severe. Starting from the very happy childhood, it went to the extreme where it was the opposite of your childhood, and then you came out of that extreme and you went to the other extreme of happiness, so you have seen both extremes of happiness and unhappiness, and that way you have more experience to deal with the things you are dealing with at the moment. You can relate to people on either side, the very rich, the very poor, the very happy, the very unhappy. Verna – But I still can’t relate to myself, I still can’t find my inner peace, I find my inner peace when I am proud of myself, when I am teaching, but in everyday life I am not finding my inner peace, there is something missing. There is a link missing to make me completely who I am, there is still something missing, discipline, self-discipline. So now I am part of that little girl, that girl is still in me, because that is how I reincarnated, that teenager is in me, and now when I think of that teenager I don’t feel the pain, so I think I was being shown the pain, because I know now, I have forgiven my mother and father and I love them dearly. They say you can never grow until you can forgive your parents, but that doesn’t even enter into it now, when I talk about it now, the pain is not there, but just now I felt it, so I think they were showing me something, so there is that teenager and that carefree little girl and then there is that time with Gray, and the time after Gray which was the blackest time really, and yet so much white in it, because I grew so much but I didn’t know at the time, so that space is quite black. Mistake after mistake, and then there is now. Geoff (Channeling) – Mistakes are all lessons, but lessons come both ways, in that period after your divorce, your blackest period as you put it, you also had a lot of enjoyment and happiness with the children, so you had unhappiness with finance, but you had happiness with children. Verna – Oh yes, but I had lots of frustration because I could never go to their games and sport like the other mothers could. But what I am getting at is that now I know I have got that little carefree soul, that teenager, that person who was with Gray, that person who had that period without Gray, and the Verna now, I have got all those characters within me now, now what is blocking me from finding total inner peace. Geoff (Channeling) – Perhaps you are just seeing the other side of the coin; you are experiencing the other side of the coin at the moment. Verna – But what is creating this intense restlessness in me. One minute I have confidence to run a course, which is incredible, I even think so, and the next minute I have no confidence. I have no confidence about being good enough to run the course that has left me now, now I have every confidence. Geoff (Channeling) – But is that not the same with every employment that you take, whether it is on your own or with somebody else. Verna – I am just getting the word being given to me, like I am too intense. Geoff (Channeling)– It is maybe time to sit back and take stock of your life and your surroundings, take stock of the life that you are living. And see what you are creating, on both sides on the good side, and the bad side. For as you are so fond of telling other people, you make the decisions. Perhaps we should try to isolate the problem areas, so if we go through the various collective structures in your life, analyse which is good and which is bad, and maybe you will see more clearly where the problem could be. So maybe we could start with your family, your family that you have now, everything is fine, so it is not that, so we can discard it. The children – they are fine, we can discard that, your relationship with your husband – same, we can discard that, what are we left with? Verna – I feel like I am sucked into a vacuum of millions of hands coming down towards me, and they all want, expect so much from me, and I look up and I see all these hands reaching out to me. Geoff (Channeling) – Do they want to take or do they want to give? Verna – They want to take, but not in a nasty way. Geoff (Channeling) – And do you want to give? Verna – Yes but instead of just lifting up my arms and sending out my love, unconditional love and all the energy and the power and the knowledge that I have, I am trying to touch each one. Geoff (Channeling) – Then maybe you should tell them to form a queue. Your ambition is to teach these people and to help and give, but there is a limit to what you can do, and you must go in the direction in which you are developing. Verna – Yes, that’s right, so it’s like if I do this…….I can see all these hands coming down and I can just send out everything I know, all my knowledge, and there is a whole group of them out there, I feel free. But if I do this, and I try and see each one individually, I just want to shut up inside, so I am trying to read that scene. So all form a queue, I am still feeling frustrated, maybe group sessions are the answer now, with the odd individual, or maybe I must give from my heart and……… Geoff (Channeling) – Or maybe you could teach others to give as you do, all these people that want to receive from you, what is it that they want? Verna – Care, love and understanding. Geoff (Channeling)– Go back to when you were sitting on the swing, you were content with what was around you, you could have had a lot more, you could have given more, you could have taken more, but you were balanced, in harmony and happy. So you need to take stock of your life. Verna – Ah and how come all this started this way tonight? Geoff (Channeling) – Your mind was getting confused and you asked for help, indirectly. That is the ways it works. Verna – So I have still got this frustrated feeling inside, so I must finish this, so I just mustn’t try so hard. I must do my best…. Geoff (Channeling) – Do you ever not do your best? Let me explain that in another way, if you were talking to one person, one client, one patient, and you were teaching them about life after death, would you ever teach less than giving as much as you could? Verna – No. Geoff (Channeling) – Because it is natural to you to give that much. When you are tired you may only give as much as you can give, but it will still be your best, even though it is only half as good as the day before, it is still the best that you can do, and you must be content with that. You can talk to hundreds of people in a period, but it tires you and it gets weaker and weaker, all the time your strength is growing so you are able to give more and more, but you give to the limit, but you must be content that that is your limit, you must understand that that is what you can give. Verna – You know when I visualise a greatness inside me, I know it is not my ego, and it is so beautiful, I just stand there, and my arms are wide and there are just hundreds of people, and I am not even talking, I mean it’s a bit like playing Jesus, I am not blaspheming here, because how wonderful it must have been for the Lord to stand there and not even have to talk, and just from his energy, move so many people. And I have got so much in me that I just want to take….if I could take it out medically and put it into all these other people, all these hundreds of others I would. Geoff (Channeling) – Yes, it is without doubt beautiful to just open your arms and to give. What you are experiencing is the giving of love and what Jesus did was the ultimate gift to give as much as possible, with the powers that he had that was phenomenal, but you must remember that you can only give so much in this lifetime. If I could give you an example, you could give to everyone in Durban, let’s say, and everyone would benefit, but are they ready to benefit. Verna – Well only those who are ready to benefit would, wouldn’t they? Geoff (Channeling) – Yes, so therefore you do not have to give to all, there are teachers that control each area, control different dimensions, different categories, different groups, different territories, and when more energy is needed in one area, they will call on you, as you have experienced before. When all love is given to this particular project, we have as you know group meditation, groups linking up and those groups are all managed by different people to direct the energy where it needs to go, much in the same way as you would look after your family, the way the local government looks after you and so on. We will direct you to give when we need additional energy, you will continue to develop and you will be able to give more and more, as is the path chosen by you, that path you must walk along, what you are trying to do is walk along the other paths as well because you want to give more. Your path is exciting, it is full of love and pitfalls as always on any path, but that is the path you must walk along, but you must enjoy walking along that path. Verna – That’s what I am getting at, I don’t want this frustrated feeling inside me, this panicked feeling, I want it to be natural, I want it to come from my soul and my heart, now it is coming from my computer and my brain and books and……..my inability to type and my inability to do everything once, and go to the shop, and go to the post office and still have clients, and do this properly. Geoff (Channeling) – You can walk along the road and admire the flowers, but you can walk along a little slower and pick the flowers, then with those flowers you can give to others. Verna – Hmm, so do I hold the next course or not? (Laughs) Geoff (Channeling) – You are seeing a very troubled period ahead of you, and you are trying to get ahead of that because of finance, that is the reason you are doing this. Verna – Well no, I know that a few other ladies want to take the course, and they don’t have the money and they have said that I will make a financial agreement with them, it is not really the money, I actually, one side of me deeply wants to experience the course a second time, I want to be free in July when Gary comes, and I want to help pay for his ticket, so that is the financial bit, funnily enough it is not the rent and the food and stuff, because something always happens, I want to be free in July, and I want to bring these ladies in before July because I don’t want to work in July, so there are about three or four aspects. What I don’t want to do is be so tired that I won’t cope, now I am already feeling selfish because this whole thing is about me – I had no intention of talking about me this evening. Geoff (Channeling) – When does your next hypnotherapy course start? Verna – In two weeks time. Geoff (Channeling)– Time is not as important as it seems, quite often you would put down a problem here, and a solution here, and you will make the solution fit the problem, instead of moving around the problem. Or look at alternative ways, you do not want to work in a specific period, so instead of thinking of letting down the people, you give them an alternative, say this week I cannot do the course, so it is next week, or next month, the course can be this long or that long. Verna – Ah, so I could start the course in three weeks time, that would give me a better breathing space. Geoff (Channeling) – How many people did you want to attend the course. Verna – Ten. Geoff (Channeling) – And how many did you get? Verna – Ten. Geoff (Channeling) – And was it at the right time? Verna – Yes. Geoff (Channeling) – Now let’s look back to before the course, when you were preparing, did you believe you could get ten? Verna – No, it was all done in about two weeks. Geoff (Channeling) – Did you believe that it could be done in that time? Verna – No. That was Geoff’s faith, I did not know how to start for months and months and months I didn’t know how to start. In fact I started the course without having one word about it, almost. Geoff (Channeling)– Yes, you planned and you did it, now you must plan to suit your life and your harmony and balance, walk along the path and pick the flowers as you go. Verna – Great, thank you, and what I must just keep remembering is that little girl on the swing, because that is truly me. Geoff (Channeling) – It is. Verna – Thank you, I have a little boy on the swing now, and I think its Geoff and he is just swinging like crazy. Somebody’s got a sense of humor. Geoff (Channeling) – It is your father. Verna – My father? Geoff (Channeling) – Yes, he sends much love and happiness, and he is very proud of his daughter. Verna – Funny I spent my whole life trying to make him proud. And yet he always was. Geoff (Channeling) – Yes, he says he is stubborn too. I will leave you now to continue, thank you for listening. Verna – Oh thank you, thank you for all your help. Geoff (Channeling) – I was glad that we could help. Verna – Bless you.